I touched on this a little in my recent post, When Did You Feel Most Alive so be sure to check that out if you haven’t already.
I went on a late night run last night. It was just me at the track under the moon and the stars. There was a pause between songs, and I was able to soak in the silence for a few seconds. I normally get so in my head with my music, that I become almost unaware of my surroundings and the outside world really, but in that moment, I was able to take it all in. The warm summer air rushing past me, my heart beat, the sound of my feet hitting the pavement steadily, my breathing falling into a calm rhythm.
My music started again, but I didn’t allow my mental presence to fade into the song. Instead of finding distractions to get through the run, I allowed myself felt it all. I felt the pain, the thoughts of self-doubt, the exhaustion. It’s crazy how in a moment that feels like I can’t breathe, I somehow experience the biggest breath of fresh air. How in a moment of self doubt, I am more confident than ever. In a time of constant motion, my heart is still, my thoughts are clear, my anxiety is far away.
Hahaha can we all take a minute for the look my face?! 😂😂😂
I came to this track during a time of change and heartbreak. I believe that’s why it is such a special place for me full of self confirmations, solitude, and clarity. I overcame so much with each lap I took. I was on a journey to find myself, and I did. I still am. I think I always will be, because if you’re constantly growing, you will never run out of things to learn about yourself.
I have run into so many sunsets, and each one has been different. I have run in the hot summer sun, the cool, crisp fall afternoons, bright mornings, and cloudy days. I’ve gotten caught in the rain (without a piña colada) feeling frustrated and defeated, sometimes weak, and I’ve stood in the sunshine completely out of breath feeling on top of the world, stronger than ever. I have been through a lot in life, and at this very track. It is a constant reminder that I am always moving towards something better, I am always progressing, my heart is beating, I have purpose, I am healthy and strong.
Running has given me so much, even in the moments when in has completely broken me down, even when I have given in to self-doubt, even when I have hated it. Running has given me strength, and continues to make me stronger. It has made me grateful to be healthy enough to push myself, it has made me humble in moments of weakness and moments of success, knowing that I am stronger than I was yesterday and I will get even stronger tomorrow.
Each run is like your every day life. You have your ups and downs, your hills and your steady grounds. You have sunny days and days stormy ones, you have days that you jog into the track, and you have days where it took everything you had to drag your ass there, or maybe you gave in and chose Netflix instead. You take the highs and lows, and you let it build you up into a better version of yourself.
You get better. You rise above. Always.
Sometimes, you have to run from where you’ve been to get to where you need to be. Running away is actually pretty great advice, because along the way, you will always find yourself.
Stay strong. Stay golden.