The queen herself: Carrie Bradshaw
Carrie Bradshaw is famous for all of the things she “couldn’t help but wonder.” One of those “wonders” she shared with us is, “Can you make a mistake and miss your fate?”
A lot of my friends have been questioning the concept of fate. What the hell is it anyway? Is it real? Do the situations we’re in now and the decisions we make affect our fate? Are we messing it up? All questions every 20-something year old asks on the daily.
My friend is going through a breakup. She asked me, “Do you think we’ll come back to each other?”
I think that’s when fate comes into play. I once heard a guy talk about his love for someone for 3 hours. They had broken up, and he was going through a really hard time without her. He talked about her with such faith and strong belief that they would end up together. He said that he prayed for her every night. Not necessarily for them to end up together, but for her happiness. He said that one day he drove and he drove for what seemed like forever on a path near a place that they used to go to together. Somehow, beyond his logic or reasoning, the twists and turns on a drive he hadn’t yet taken had led him straight to the street her house was on. Against all odds, and through the road he traveled on blindly having no clue where it went, led him straight to her. He knew then that they would be okay, and that every road would always lead him back to her.
I’m not talking about them ending up together, because even if they didn’t, that would have been fate too. Fate doesn’t mean getting what you think you want at the time, it’s all about everything working out the way it’s supposed to. It’s about finding yourself in a place that you were meant to be in after taking a path without knowing where it will lead.
Inevitably, you will make a ton of mistakes along the way. You’ll ask “what-if” incessantly. But guess what, you’re not going to miss out on your fate. You can’t. Everything you do, and every situation you go through serves a purpose for YOURSELF as a person, and that is what determines the people who will be in your life. Maybe that’s why people consider fate in a romantic sense.
Sounds like a whole lot of BS, but you have to believe me when I say the universe is freakin’ weird, and it is always working in ways you can’t always see, just like the guy who was driving on the road that somehow brought him back to the girl he loved. He messed up, he made his mistakes along the way, but he didn’t miss out on his fate because in the end, he got her.
In the less than romantic fate, he could have not ended up with her. But how shitty would every romantic comedy or book be if the guy didn’t get the girl? People want to believe that fate is ending up with who you want, or getting what you want, but that doesn’t mean he would have missed his fate, it just would have meant that his fate was something different. Honestly, it still could be something different. We don’t want to hear that, you know, that something isn’t going to end up they way we want it to. But the “what-ifs” that we fear and drive ourselves nuts overthinking are our own personal fantasy scenarios not being our reality that are mistaken as a lost opportunity of fate.
“What-ifs” are not true scenarios of us missing our fate. They are fantasies that we explore when wondering what could have happened if we had taken certain paths or certain things would have worked out.
You didn’t miss out, something simply didn’t work out the way you wanted it to.
Leave the wondering up to Carrie Bradshaw. You’re exactly where you should be, and if you’re not yet there, everything that’s happening right now is working to bring you to that place. Do what is in your control, and let go of what isn’t. Find peace in that.
What are your “what ifs”?
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